Twas the night before The Open, when all through the gym
not a workout was happening, not even a swim.
The barbells were hung in the gun racks with care,
in hopes that Dave Castro didn’t frost his hair.
The athlete were restless all night in their beds
while visions of snatches bombarded their heads.
And Rich in his Nano’s and Mat in his Nikes,
are praying against the god-awful assault bike.
When out of my dream state I jumped with a clatter,
what if Dave gave us a heavy clean ladder?
Too good to be true I reasoned away,
the Open is not a weightlifters best day.
The heavy and skilled are saved for the big show
high rep burpees and box jumps are coming we know.
Or what what if this year’s Open was different,
and HQ’s introduction of “scaled” turned out brilliant?
What a different year this would be for those with true grit.
Who knows the Open may actually test who is fit!
The true athletes of Crossfit would all get their way
as the 15.1 would finally be a great day!
Now Froning Now Fisher!
Now, Bridgers and Goodman!
On, Voboril! On, Ohlsen!
On, Panchik and Bohlken!
To the top of the rings!
To the top of the rig!
Now pull away! Push away! Squat away all!
Alas its just a dream that likely will fail
we all know the Open is for every women and male.
5 long weeks ahead we all hope to survive,
cringing each time a new announcement is live.
And then, in a twinkling, I thought to myself
what if Fraser beats Froning what would the world do with itself?
A beautiful idea ran through my head round and round,
could a weightlifter beat the Champ? Oh my what a sound!
What will happen tomorrow when two titans clash?
Could Rich end his streak to a man with a ‘stache?
A lot of haters will be quick to show what Mat lacks,
but Rich stole his chalk, he has to get him back.
My eyes how they twinkled at such glorious a thought.
At the end of tomorrow could the Champ, Rich be naught?
Mat’s smug little smile would draw up like a bow,
and the unspeakable truth he would show.
A weightlifter could win at fitness
and in a run we aren’t useless!
Rich would wonder what happened with his hands on his belly,
maybe he hadn’t eaten enough peanut butter and jelly.
Tomorrow Dave will show up, like an excited little kid,
and he’ll laugh as he reminds us, we signed up, we did.
With a curl of his lip and a snap of his head
we will all be reminded
we have something to dread.
He’ll list off the movements with a grin and a smirk
and remind the whole world why we all think he’s a jerk.
But in the name of fitness, he will prevent any misstep
and with the rules enable the over zealous “NO REP!”
The Open starts now and we’ve worked for a year
this is not a time for weakness, complacency, or fear.
Tomorrow we’ll hear Dave explain, as he smiles ever so
The Open begins now, 3…2…1… GO!
